Великолепные лимерики!

[na_dene]

There was a young fellow of Lime,
Who lived with three wives at a time, 
       Being asked, "Why the third?" 
       He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

* * *

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass; 
       Not rounded and pink, 
       As you probably think --
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

* * *

There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe; 
       He awoke in the night, 
       In a terrible fright, -
And found it was perfectly true!

* * *

There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling 
       There was never a sound 
       For miles around
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.

* * *

There was a young fellow of Ealing,
Devoid of all delicate feeling. 
       When he read on the door: 
       `Don't shit on the floor'
He jumped up and shat on the ceiling.

* * *

There were three little birds in a wood,
Who always sang hymns when they could; 
       What the words were about 
       You could never make out,
But you felt it was doing them good.

* * *

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room, 
       And they argued all night 
       Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

* * *

A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool. 
       Said the doctor, a cynic, 
       "Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."


* * *

There was a young lady of Spain,
Who said: "Let us do it again, 
       And again, and again, 
       And again, and again,
And again, and again, and again."

* * *

There was a man called McLean
Who invented a fucking machine; 
       Concave and convex, 
       It could fit either sex
And was perfectly easy to clean.

* * *

There was a young fellow named Dice,
Who remarked, "They say bigamy's nice. 
       Even two are a bore, 
       I'd prefer three or four;
For the plural of spouse, it is spice!"

* * *

Exclaimed a young girl in Kildare,
As her lover's jock towered in air, 
       "If that goes in me I 
       Shall certainly die -
As I shall if it doesn't go there." 

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Нагло стырено у terko